A break in the script
We were on a cruise, my first experience too. It was a family thing, so I had little choice. If it were just us, we would never have gone in the first place for multiple reasons. But that aside, we were there alongside 2,000+ other people floating on the Mediterranean Sea. One night started the same as many other nights. We went to our designated table to have dinner. Our usual staff came to greet us and make sure we had the best time of our life at our table. Just going through the motions, taking part in the play we all had our role in.
I was one of the people, having the role of being a guest. Having paid a significant amount of money to sit at a table, with family, being served amazing food and wine by others. It was crowded, not too loud, but typical busy restaurant loud. Everybody in conversations between each other, others running around serving people sitting at their tables. The hum was overwhelming my senses, and I was just running on autopilot until I shortly after noticed.
I had a moment of clarity, seeing what was really happening. I thought, why was I sitting here on this side, and those three people were running around to serve us? Making conversations, recommendations of the menu, asking how our day in the port was. I started wondering, do they really care? When they were smiling at us, was it genuine? When laughing and sharing their own bits of life experience in between, we caught a glimpse of their side. I chose to believe, since I felt the restraint on their side about sharing too much and shattering the illusion.
I looked around. Everyone was dressed up. I heard the fake laughs, bits of conversations that scratched the surface of daily life. Just chit-chat. Nothing important, just a passing of the time and keeping up appearances. It felt unrealistic, like I was sitting on some movie set.
Our waiter came with desserts. I asked for a Sacher cake. Once everyone was served, I took my first bite, and there it happened. A feeling of recognition washed over me, images from my childhood. I had forgotten about this. The deep taste of chocolate, and the hint of apricot through it. I was seeing my younger self with my parents, one of those perfect picture memories. Time slowed down for a moment there. I soaked in the memory with every bite. It was a perfect storm of nostalgia and the comfort of a healthy childhood.
With the last bite, I was slowly pulled back into the present. The conversations around me getting louder once more. Our waiter making sure everything was according to our wishes. I told him I had an amazing evening and wished him the same, before taking my leave. Putting back on my mask, to reprise my role in this silly play.